you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I checked into jail on foursquare
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
