you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
