I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
