If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
