if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
