Jerry, you need to find god
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
