If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
