Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize