Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
