Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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