I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I would ride that face into the sunset
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
