just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
