Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
