On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
