the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
