i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize