I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
