I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
