well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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