First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
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