They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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