i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
