How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
