Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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