Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
