I am puke
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
