She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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