My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Randomize
