So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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