How'd it feel making her break her religion?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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