Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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