At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
