she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
