I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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