ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
