Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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