Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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