Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
