I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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