so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
