I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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