Umm I'm too high to move.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.