you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
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Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
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I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.