I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
so much tequila, so little girl.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder