If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.