Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket