Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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