Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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