do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
