I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
