they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
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i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
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In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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