This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize