i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
