Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
