OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
