Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
