Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
