i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
