i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
