I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
