I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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