Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize