Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
