Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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