I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
