note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
