I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
vagina is talking i cant
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
