Nicole vs. Life
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
