All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
