once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize