My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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