woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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