Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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