i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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