they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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