boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
