R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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