Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
be right there i have to get my cape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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