She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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