your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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