Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
