Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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